Friday, September 23, 2011


It's been 4 years now...
... and life with you is

sometimes nutty ...

sometimes sour ...

sometimes funny ...

sometimes dour ...

It's been 4 years now ... My mornings with you are all the same but hey, I do not mind because it comforts me over and over.

It's been 4 years now ... We laugh out real hard and talk about silly things like it's the first time we've talked about it.

Thank you ... It has been 4 years now and we took the long shot without excuses. We will face yet another year. I guess this is the part that I say ...




i love you...


(ayyeeee!!! Gilokk!!!)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

BRINGING THE DOLLS by: Merlie M. Alunan

Sharing a poem from my favorite professor, Prof. Merlie Alunan

Two dolls in rags and tatters,

one missing an arm and a leg,

the other blind in one eye -

I grabbed them from her arms,

“No”, I said, “they cannot came”.


Each tight luggage

I had packed

only for the barest need:

no room for sentiment or memory

to clutter with loose ends

my stern resolve. I reasoned,

even a child must learn

she cannot take

what must be left behind.


And so the boat turned seaward,

a smart wind blowing dry

the stealthy tears I could not wipe.

Then I saw- rags, tatters and all-

there among the neat trim packs,

the dolls I ruled to leave behind.


Her silence should have warned me

she knew her burdens

as I knew mine:

her clean white years unlived-

and paid my price.

She battened on a truth

she knew I too must own:

when what’s at stake

is loyalty or love,

Hers are the true rights.

Her own faiths she must keep, not I.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

One fine morning ...


I had a meaningful birthday this year... It's the first time I got a birthday 'harana', did not mind that it cut my beautiful sleep short (they had it at 4am). I got to talk to my very young nephews and nieces and my Bombay is concerned that I could get sad here in Cebu because I don't have my family here. It was cute (sort of... because he is just 5yrs old) that he asked but it did made me think and look back.

I had been working here in Cebu for almost 5 years now... in a bit, I was making decisions on my own. I can't say I welcomed it with open arms (I'm used to having my parents decide for me..) but I had been asking for a chance to live outside our home, a bit far... errr ... farther. I did not exactly know why I want to live separately, I just feel that I have to. Now, going back to Eiram's question about me being sad... yeah, there are 'sad' times but I guess I'll never feel I have lived if I had not been sad, happy, disappointed, etc... it's the 'life' as we know it.

Thank you very much to those people who made my birthday a very extraordinary one. Thank you Migraine... even your snore makes my day. :)




Sunday, September 26, 2010

On our 3rd...





I was actually looking for a cute cake to post in here but I did not find any... But then I have these, 3 candles. I do not want to put ideas as to why there's pink, green and yellow. But I'd guess you'd know how to interpret these colors. All I need to know is that, you are my migraine. I am sorry that today's "event" is not much. Hearing you snore beside me is one very special treat though... it's 3am and I am smiling like crazy...

I will make it up to you but I can't promise when.

Thank you migraine ko. We will be facing another year....... again.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Another Surgery? Not again!


What you see is the ultrasound result from my ER episode last Sept. 13, 2010. The size is approximately 1.6cm. I just had a surgery last Jan. 2 of last year and now I get to have another one? Not again! Then my sisters (both nurses) called me up, dead worried since they know that gallstones can deliver one of the most painful "attack". Told them that I only get the "attack" after dinner and only if I ate pork. They laughed and told me to not forget to steer away from alcohol too... bad bad sisters...

Then here comes Kuya, asking me to stop eating chicken skin, chicharon, french fries, hamburgers, pizza, etc... WHAT!? Me without the most glorious foods in world?... (crickets chirping at the background)... All I can say is "yes, Kuya." Then I guess he detected a certain sadness in my voice, he then said "you can have pizza but NOT always (with that special stress on the NOT word)... and oh you can have chocolates too but go for the dark one." Yes, Kuya... sigh*


Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Rape of Nanking



It's a weekend and I get to watch of films again... I picked out a not so noticeable DVD on the store stand and went home with a smile.
The DVD stored 8 films, all of it Chinese films with subtitles.

The City of Life and Death caught my attention, little did I know that the film talks about the Rape of Nanking, released last 2009 after 6 months of screening by the Chinese Film Bureau. It is directed by Lu Chuan.


The Rape of Nanking is one of the most notorious war crimes in history, taking place over several weeks during the Second World War from late 1937 to early 1938 when the Japanese imperial army captured the then Chinese capital. After entering the city the Japanese troops went on a period of sustained atrocities against the surviving inhabitants, raping, carrying out summary executions, looting and wholesale massacres of both POWs and civilians. Children as young as a day old are being thrown out of windows only to be caught by a bayonet of a smiling Japanese soldier. Nanking is reduced to rubbles. These atrocities are familiar to me as it also happened during World War II when Japan invaded the Philippines.

The 132 minute film has fictional characters interlaced with real characters (Mr. John Rabe, a Nazi businessman and Minnie Vautrin, an American missionary). It is a black and white historical feature which made it look like it came from the archives. Personally, it's good in black in white so that most of the scenes will not appear as gory as they are in full color.

The transitions were simple, excerpts of Mr. Rabe's diary served as a division from one week to another. I also like the mock celebration dance performed by the Japanese soldiers to celebrate their siege of Nanking, they are depicted as planting rice but it resembled driving bayonets into fallen soldiers.

In general, the film is a moving rendition as to what really happened in Nanking, the juxtaposed historical and fictional character served as a distancing between reality and history. The film is nothing short of political, but it is the not theme. What revolves around the film is the humanity in each of the character, the pain, the sorrow, the will to make sense of everything in the midst of chaos and the tendency to embrace anything that give's purpose. But in the end, death is always the easy way out.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Life in a day...








I will be having my nth birthday this month and apparently, that means I am getting older. When this year started, I went into deep introspection of what I had been last year... I am proud to say that I did good last year. I had received blessings and according to my nanay, even hardships are blessings...

As I go home everyday after a hard days work, I make sure that I think of how my day ended. Sure there are times that I will feel crappy at the end of a day of I always look forward to the next as a better one... Always.

I am not much of a principle person. But I believe in 6 things that could make my life a walk in the park, not necessarily an easy walk in the park but something to ponder on while "walking"...


1. Be at peace with myself
this is very very hard... I am telling you based from experience
I have to accept myself, all of it... the smelly feet, the unruly hair, bad teeth, my heavy body and the large chunks of blubber on my belly... hell, I can even hear myself snore.
I have only myself most of the time. If I can accept myself then there is a big possibility that I can accept people and be more tolerating.
To be at peace is also to be HONEST with myself...
In most people, this will be a struggle that could take years before a decision could be made.
We cannot run from ourselves. In one way or another we have to acknowledge that we have problems (attitude problems, relationships..) and face it with humility.


2. Go through even just one day in a week with out spending
this too is very hard... but I make it a point to make Thursday a non-spending day.
This is something I had to do because I am not a thrifty person. I am an impulse buyer, it's like a disease. My disease...


3. Pray before going to sleep at night
I am not a religious person but I always pray at night before I close my eyes. It is my only way of saying my thank yous for everything that has happened during the day.


4. Not let the day pass by without saying I love you to people who matter
You will never know when you'll join HIM. I had to let the people I love know I love them. It does not have to be I LOVE YOU in words, actions will do...


5. Laugh
even if it already feels stupid... even if there are a lot of people... even if it's only you who understood the joke...
laugh until there's tears on your eyes... until you tummy muscles ache


6. Accept that NOT all people are happy that you are YOU
a few people will envy you ... Of what? You might not know... But let it go. It is a good thing that you are NOT taking anybody's humanity... Let things be.
they will hate your guts ... just let them hate you more
it is much better if you don't do anything against them because believe me, there is a thing called KARMA... it is much wiser to let them be


this is not much but it makes me stay focused...


Sunday, November 29, 2009

A dream in a Dream




I dreamt that I had a dream...

I am sitting on a river bank cross legged, clothed in flowing cotton tunic.

I have in my hand a sepukku sword, gleaming silver mirrored the sun causing me to squint as I look at it...

The river continued to hum it's song, one that it has been humming since it was born, oblivious of my presence...

In my mind, I can't be sitting here, I should not be here, I need to be somewhere else.

Somewhere. Somewhere. I need to be somewhere. I know I need to be somewhere but I can't seem to stand and walk away.

Something in here must have called me... asked me to get in this place. The sword is still in my hand... Untainted... Gleaming...

Must be it's scabbard on my side... Sheathed it and hugged it like it's all I have left.

I felt a hand touched my face, I opened my eyes and saw you... breathing lightly, so calm inside my arms.

It was a dream. Just a dream. It was a dream...

I knew I'm home as you burrowed deeper into my arms...

Heard a buzz from somewhere... It's 7PM. And it's cold. I got to go to work...





Sunday, November 22, 2009

A Letter of Love...


Dear SVP Migraine,

In going over last year's records by our Auditing Committee, I have been informed that you still hold 50% approximately on stocks and other securities and assets in the following companies: Sam Hart Conglomerate, Natural At Traction and Head Over Heels (Maker of Quality Hats and Shoes). This will stay as is.


Under the present market fluctuations and depressions, we sincerely advise you to hold your assets tight and reassess the Conglomerate's offer of extending your contract with us to ad infinitum since our present contract that has lasted for 2 years, 1 month and 26 days is still in effect. This will not be considered a breach but rather an overlap continuity as stipulated on provision #19.L on the new merger.


At this writing we wish to inform you that Natural At Traction, touched a new high today and is on the new acquisition of better days (include the hard days), which made me decide to propose an extension of the already existing contract.


Hoping for your kind (and loving) consideration. Hope to hear from you the soonest time possible to stop the feeling of missing you from sinking in.


Yours very truly (and will always be yours),

Honey Kolakoy
President / CEO
Samsonite Ventures
Floor 3 CBR Towers
#143 Highway Bothwayes
Tel: 319-143-4424



P. S.
Excuse my way of writing the letter. It is intended to be a corporate letter.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Love Runs Out ... They say






Does love really run out? Does it flow like water then just trickles down when there is not much left and eventually stops?I have heard friends and even in my family (from uncles mostly) that they have fallen out of love or that the love they had at the beginning is just not there anymore. Not there anymore? Ok ... Given it's not "there" anymore then where did it go?... They'd stutter and give me reasons that I cannot seem to digest (or maybe refuse to digest). At the back of my mind, they'd give every excuse just to push something they do not want anymore away and replace it with something they fancy at the moment. Then why say love just ran out?.... I personally do not think love runs out ...


First, it just gets buried by other emotions like hate and anger. Let's just say that you are the "other half" who had been betrayed and the only one who has been working to make the partnership work but then you don't seem to see that your other half is doing something. You'll get frustrated and your frustration will lead to anger then you'll eventually hate the person.



Second, love gets overpowered by lust. Oh come on! Don't say you have never gone google-eyed on this gorgeous girl who has ass the size of pillows and the sticking-out-like-chopstick tits that you wish you can grab and have your way with it... Guys really love to look at them and a part of them down there can also prove it. Sheesh! Don't you downplay me. I have brothers that's why I can tell.... Or you girls, yeah you girl, had stared at this muscled toned guy with this something down there that even in tumescence still showed that they have something down-there. Guys, and oh even girls just hate to look at their partners with sagging arms, potbellied, with big dark circles around the eyes, smells differently, etc ... etc... Then here comes the line, "I have fallen out of love. I think it would be better if we are just friends".... So euphemistic! How about, "I lust for someone else and to have him/her I need to get rid of you so that I cannot be considered a cheater".



Third, love has been pushed to the side by hubris and self preservation. The "it's all about me" mentality is just not that easy to kill ... Arrogance claws love down... And it could be painful to let go of one's arrogance if you had been using it since the begining of time to shield yourself from anything that could harm you emotionally and mentally. Self preservation (superciliousness) and hubris are both addictions and they just can't die easy, it has molded into one's inner core that to take them all out also means to take away life, die (of course figuratively but nonetheless still painfull).



Sometimes it helps if we just sit down and take time to look at our better halves. Why do you have each other in the first place? Tired of making love work? You refuse to listen ... Now this I can understand because for something to work, it has to be fueled by something, driven by something.... But if you say you can't make it work anymore because you got tired then somehow love is still there, stagnant and gathering moss.... like cracks on a wall that had been withered by wind, rain and the sun.



Wednesday, October 21, 2009

How Could You ..

Just saw one female friend's display message in YM... It says "How do you heal a broken heart that feels like it would never love this much again?"...

Yeah ... I wonder how too.


Do you have "below zero"?

Monday, October 5, 2009

The Vampire Girlfriend





Got to talk to one of my college friends who now works in Manila. Can't help but laugh, I know it's not supposed to be funny but it seems like he got robbed and his money bled dry by his own girlfriend.I cannot do much but listen to him rant. But I wish I could do more than just listen.

He was talked into buying her a car, a condo and a trip to Thailand. And when they came back, she broke up with him.

I know it is easy for me to say that he is so dumb, my point is girlfriend-vampires do exist, the girlfriend who holds your credit card and your ATM cards for the blanket reason of "need to budget". But the longer you ATMs and credit cards stay with her, the shorter your financial life-span gets.

I personally know one girlfriend-vampire (a friend used to have her as a girlfriend and have
utang here and there, she even extorted money from her very bestfriend, the one person that she grew up with. Yes, I think you know her, she is Zorayda De Makulangan, up until now, she still owes my friend thousands), she will suck the life out of your money.... errrr.... rather she will suck your money out of your life.

Watch out for this type of girlfriend. One and probably the best indication is that they whine too much about not having this and that.


Thursday, October 1, 2009

Ketsana Victims Need Help



People in the Philippines desperately need help. If you have something to spare, be it small or large, please send it to institutions like the GMA Foundation or ABS-CBN. In this way you can be assured that those donations, up to the smallest one will reach where it is supposed to go. DO NOT GIVE TO GOVERNMENT INSTITUTIONS, your contributions will just reach pockets.


ABS-CBN HOTLINE 416-36-41

ABS-CBN Foundation Inc. toll free number: 1-800-527-2820 (for inquiries on how send donations from overseas)

Or check www.abs-cbnfoundation.com

-----

GMA Kapuso Helpline: (+632-9811950-59) / Hotlines: 632 9317013
Or check : http://www.gmanews.tv/story/173288/update-list-of-verified-relief-centers-for-ondoy-victims

Peso Savings
Account Name : GMA Kapuso Foundation, Inc.
Account Number : 3-098-51034-7

Dollar Savings
Account Name : GMA Kapuso Foundation, Inc.
Account Number : 2-098-00244-2
Code : MBTC PH MM

UNITED COCONUT PLANTERS BANK (UCPB)

Peso Savings
Account Name : GMA Kapuso Foundation, Inc.
Account Number : 115-184777-2
: 160-111277-7

Dollar Savings
Account Name : GMA Kapuso Foundation, Inc.
Account Number : 01-115-301177-9
: 01-160-300427-6
Code : UCPB PH MM

BANCO DE ORO (BDO)

Peso Savings
Account Name : GMA Kapuso Foundation, Inc.
Account Number : 469-0022189

Dollar Savings
Account Name : GMA Kapuso Foundation, Inc.
Account Number : 469-0072135

Friday, August 14, 2009

Just Amusing ...


This is a telephone conversation between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel somewhere in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review… this is really amusing. Just wondering, do we, Filipinos talk like this? :)


Room Service (RS): “Morny. Ruin sorbees.”

Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”

RS: “Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?

G: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs”

RS: “Ow July den?”

G: “What???”

RS: “Ow July den?…pry, boy, pooch?”

G: “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.”

RS: “Ow July dee bayhcem…crease?”

G: “Crisp will be fine.”

RS: “Hokay. An San tos?”

G: “What?”

RS: “San tos. July San tos?”

G: “I don’t think so”

RS: “No? Judo one toes?”

G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo one toes’ means.”

RS: “Toes! toes!…why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?”

G: “English muffin!!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”

RS: “We bother?”

G: “No… just put the bother on the side.”

RS: “Wad?”

G: “I mean butter…just put it on the side.”

RS: “Copy?”

G: “Sorry?”

RS: “Copy…tea…mill?”

G: “Yes. Coffee please, and that’s all.”

RS: “One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy….rye?”

G: “Whatever you say.”

RS: “Tendjewberrymud.”

G: “You’re welcome!”


Be mindful ...

This is a bit too early for me to post this, but I really cannot help it since this has been written by Mr. Randy David. This is supposed to be for the New Year but I'd like to put it here, for my own selfish reasons.

1. Though our lives may be limited by circumstances not chosen by us, we nevertheless make choices all the time. Doing nothing, letting events dictate our lives, is also a choice. Be mindful of the choices you make. Do not abandon your actions; answer for them.

2. It is necessary to look after our selves. Try to look good always so you don’t add to the world’s gloominess. But do not forget that you also have a duty to live well with others. Give cheer, offer solidarity. Never be the cause of another person’s humiliation.

3. Take care of your body, listen to its needs. It works in powerful ways, but it is not infinite in its capacities.

4. We each have our goals, big and small. Our goals are a mirror of our values. Always be conscious of what your goals are, and what it takes to achieve them. Do not hesitate to review and revise them by going back to the context that gave rise to them.

5. Living is essentially problem-solving. The solutions that work are often formulated from new ways of looking and describing. Observe how others look at life. Read and expand your moral vocabulary. Re-describe your life.

6. To understand a thing, science says, is to measure it against a standard. It is also to comprehend the context from which it sprang, and to know its uses. But remember: not everything is worth knowing.

7. Everyone has values. We acquire these in the course of our lives. Make sure your values serve you well; treat them as your “personal defense and necessity.” Once you’ve settled on your values, live by them relentlessly.

8. The main purpose of living is to turn yourself into a beautiful and strong human being, a worthy link in the chain of generations. Each one of us is given a chance to be an artist: our selves are our first raw material.

9. Too often we become the slave of habit. Take time to pause and be silent, so that you can hear the voice of the inner self that may be struggling to free itself from mindless and debilitating routine.

10. There is no sure-fire formula for achieving anything. Armed with knowledge, you may also draw strength from having a lot of hope.

11. Live without resentment and guilt.

12. Love unconditionally and without expectation.

13. Be mindful of the world around you, and learn from Nature.

14. See clearly and act with grace.

15. Face each day with cheer.